The Edited Editions: Coffee Sonnet 6

Well it's been a while. University took over and I have made excuses of being busy ever since, so it is only now that I've given myself the time to sit down with my sonnets again. This is number 6.

6. 

It was my first feeling of being at home,

A familiarity with the room, 

Enough to have felt comfort on my own, 

With the china clinks providing the tune. 

It could have been the weather that took me, 

The global mist fading what was in front. 

Leaving the grey walkers of Esplanadi

As the shaded focus of the pavement. 

So I watched the mono-saturated:

The white faces, black ties and overcoats, 

Unaware of my blue eyes fixated,

Playing the game of cafes, taking notes. 

Before leaving the colour behind too

And joining the ashen catwalk's few.

The original of this is full of awfully forced rhymes and generally when I re-read it felt that it needed wholesale change. 

As I've taken a turn toward observation with my poetry I decided that the act of observation within the sonnet was a nice frame to keep; that's also a reason for pushing it into the past tense, as a reflected observation on me observing. 

It jumped out that colour was really what I wanted to put across here - though I did it in a pathetic fallacy kind of way; the link of the cliched British weather with what I assume was a current mood, though this time I found it difficult to remember the moment - something I haven't struggled with as yet. 

I've copied a technique observed in the past semester in the edit: by leaving colour out, and deliberately noting the black and white shades, it focuses the blue of the watching eyes, which is then only placed to set up the eventual joining to colourless life outside. This is as the cafes were moments of reflection and a time-out from the rush of Erasmus life, it can come across negatively with this description - that it was when away from it that I regained the colour in my eyes but at this moment the weather and amount of work I had becomes synonymous with a dulled eye. 

In the original I say "Watching fashion", this is why I observe the ties and overcoats, simple garments that can influence a look and though black and white the "catwalk" of the edit brings the potential juxtaposition of weathered against new. 

Though I am still unsure of the "china clinks" line it is the only real connotation of why the room is familiar, implying a tea room, whilst also being an over arching comment on separation from Erasmus in Helsinki. 

It's also a point to note that some of the original doesn't even really make sense, hopefully the improvements are substantial. 

Original.

The First time I have felt like I'm at home, 

All because of a familiar clink. 

More like a tearoom, no need for my phone, 

Cakes and pastries awaiting my lips, think

This is the place I was recommended.

I sit here, gazing at those who go past. 

My place at the front should be commended,

Watching fashion, no questions do I ask. 

The grim outside mocks me, return I'm waiting

The low mist pathetic, damp, insipid.

I must leave but not yet, work is berating

Me, I'll watch: but who am I to kid? 

People watching is a game for cafes, 

But the warmth shall turn my day to a haze. 

Life is Great.

6 months.
12 countries.
16 cities.

And now I find myself at home.
Not just Nottingham home but back in my sleepy town of Whitchurch.

I have been asked by many people how my time abroad was and I have struggled to say more than 'it was amazing' to each one. If you haven't studied abroad or travelled for an extended period it is really difficult to explain what the experience teaches you, gives you and how it makes you feel. If you have studied abroad or travelled then so few words are needed because you understand completely and so the explanation becomes irrelevant.

Yet after saying all this I'm still going to tell you about my trip. Feel free to backtrack now, scroll down for the pictures or if you are interested you can continue to hear about the places I've been and the people I've met. I will try and keep it to the best bits!

On the 22nd of May I took a Viking Line ferry away from Helsinki for the last time (for now). It wasn't easy saying goodbye but I don't think I could have asked for a better day to sail toward the horizon - beautiful blue skies, a warm breeze and reading a book at the harbour back to back with my favourite Polish friend.
Arriving in Stockholm, the weather was even hotter. I only stayed for one night but I made the most of my time walking around the Djurgarden, the National City park, and visiting the Vasa museum (a recommendation that I too would recommend), the best preserved 17th century ship in the world - all thanks to it sinking on its maiden voyage...in the harbour. Seriously though, check it out, it's a beautiful ship.

From Stockholm I took a train, the first of many using my interrail pass, to Copenhagen. Once more blessed with gorgeous weather I made my way to the hostel, where I was staying in a 66 bed dorm! I loved walking around the city (a running trend throughout this trip) and one of the main port of calls was of course the little mermaid. You know, the thing you have to see to say you've been to Copenhagen and then when you get there you really wish that there was something else that said you'd been to Copenhagen. Let's face it, it's a bit rubbish. Yet in the immediate vicinity is the Citadel, a flower shaped military base which has a gorgeous walk around the perimeter and a war memorial which is designed in a beautiful and thoughtful way. There is also a large fountain and the only Anglican church in Copenhagen - which happens to have roof tiles from my home county!

There were so many other things that I got up to on my winding through Europe; Auschwitz deserves a mention as it is something that I think we all should do at some point. It is such a thought provoking place that seeps into you and leaves you in a difficult but I think essential place. I also walked in on a free organ recital in Vienna (the saving grace, as I found it quite boring on my own) in a gorgeous church, saw fireworks for a dragon festival in Krakow, a panoramic view of Tuscany from the top of Siena, got lost in Venice - countless times, did not see David in Florence but instead saw the sunset behind the mountains which turned the river into gold and to defile any cultured sensibility I thought I had...I took a selfie in the Pantheon.

The most important part of my trip however was the people I met. It was very strange going from constant company in Helsinki, where I could walk into my friends' rooms within minutes to having just myself for company in Europe. Luckily I was meeting a few Helsinki-ans on my way round and I couldn't have asked for better cities (Prague, Krakow and Paris) to have spent one last moment with them but it was the other people who I met for a moment or a day that made my trip so memorable.
Copenhagen, so shortly after leaving Finland, greeted me with 30 or so Helsinki university students watching the Ice Hockey final. They lost. This meant there was a not a crazy night out as planned - where they would 'try and find somewhere to get naked and swim, as we usually do' - but instead a night of chatting in the common room and finding out one had remembered me from a drunken rendition of 'I'll be there for you' and 'Drunken sailor' at a Sit-sit...oops.

Italy provided the most company however and what company it was. Most of the people I met were Australian, something I am more than happy with as they are a beautiful bunch. There were two in particular though; a girl, from Lake Macquarie, in Venice who showed me the best gelato in town and whom I spent an inordinate amount of time aimlessly wandering the beautiful streets with, the second was a guy from Melbourne who I met in Rome. We watched the opening World Cup game and on departure to the airport I thrashed him in a game of rock, paper, scissors - this is after him saying that he was actually pretty good at the game and so the accomplishment was even more satisfying (though I was skeptical as he called it paper, scissors, rock).
I met a Canadian guy on the train from Venice to Florence and immediately we clicked due to what were far too high brow conversations for a month out of any intellectual thinking. We wandered around Florence taking in the beautiful architecture and then together with a Londoner and German we watched the aforementioned sunset and found the best view of Florence imaginable...and then a rather lovely cocktail bar too.
Two girls from Dallas managed to keep me company throughout Italy as I followed the same route as them, this meant having drinks in Venice, Florence and Rome with a not-so-gruesome-twosome and generally having a wonderfully chilled time laughing and hearing about each other's lives and plans. Although now I am constantly updated with photos of their continued travels which makes me insanely jealous - so it's a good job more travelling is in the works.

As my adventure was a train adventure I think it also makes sense to tell you of my favourite train journey. This came in circumstances you would normally not expect to enjoy. My train back from Siena to Florence was delayed...then cancelled. We had no information as to what was going on and then proceeded to follow the crowd - as apparently some Italian women knew what she was doing. What this meant was that as a typical Brit I had something to complain about and luckily I wasn't alone in my feelings as a family from Arizona and grandmother and granddaughter from Indiana & Ohio felt much the same way. We spent the journey talking about anything and everything. After getting our second train for the final stretch I sat with the pair and talked classical music, life, plans and even more of anything and everything. It was a wonderful trip and the company was brilliant! I am still in contact with the granddaughter as we update each other on what we're getting up to. Again I am made to be jealous as she is on a beach in Greece drinking cocktails as I have a coffee, with the football, on a sofa.

As I said at the beginning, it is so hard to explain these thoughts, feelings and experiences. What you have here is the smallest amount I could possibly give you and on reading it back it's not really enough to give you a small idea of what my last 6 months have been like. What I can say though is that I now have a global family; USA, Canada, France, Spain, Portugal, Holland, Sweden, Finland, Czech, Poland, Germany, Italy, Austria, Switzerland, Belgium, Ireland, Russia, Belgrade, Australia, New Zealand and back home; Holmfirth, London and Reading - all these have people residing within their borders who I consider a close friend and I find that an incredible thing.

Helsinki has been the best thing I have decided to do, so far, in my relatively short life. Not because I have managed to see more of the world but because I have these friends. If you ever get the chance to travel, do it. You will then understand why when asked how everything was I will say three words (with thanks to my Australian) - "Life is great".

The nicest church square ever.

Urban Outfitters you're doing this right.

Flowers in the sinking sun of Stockholm

Parliament Building Stockholm

The Botanical Gardens in Copenhagen is basically the Garden of Eden

Prague Castle 

Auschwitz Berkanau 

[not real gameplay footage]

Ezra Pound's grave on Venice's Cemetery Island

One of few Italian photos without scaffolding

The view from my friend's apartment.

On Coming Home

A home from home
But home all the same.
Nothing has changed
But the season.
Looking on from a familiar seat,
Absent for months,
Though I was here yesterday. 

Helsinki update: St. Petersburg and work

Although it is now some time ago, I went to St. Petersburg.
We'd heard a lot about the Russians before heading out there, that they would be unfriendly to English speakers and that they would quite happily push you out of the way if you were in their's.
Far from it.
The city is beautiful, the streets vast and so too the buildings. Anyone we met, even if they couldn't speak English tried their best to speak English...even if that was still in Russian. An odd experience but quite funny too.

Myself, a fellow Brit and an Italian organised the trip ourselves so that we could go at the same time as our other friends who were going with ESN (Erasmus Student Network) and the Aussie, who was going with her mum (who is BRILLIANT!). We stayed in a rather dodgy looking area, it seemed to be the only place which was made of red brick - and was called the red brick territory - but the hostel was actually very nice. We bunked in a 12 bed dorm and were told the sights we should see and how we should go about seeing them by one of the hostel workers.

Cathedrals and Palaces are abound in St. Petersburg, even if they don't much look like them yet there is one feature which links them all...gold. My word it is everywhere!
So we did all the sights we should see and I also saw Swan Lake at the Mariinsky theatre. The lead was a Bolshoi dancer and the evening was fantastic - finishing with a few sparkling wines and then getting locked out of the hostel but that was all soon resolved.

One of the places we visited was the Hermitage and you could go to St. Petersburg just for it. The museum is vast, a 3 story Palace which has a vast array of everything. To put it in numbers only 5% of the exhibits are on show at any one point, I was there for 4 hours and didn't see everything. My friends were there close to 6 hours and I saw things that they didn't. If you were to look at every exhibit without a break it would take 3 years! The place was truly amazing and I got to see Seurat, Sisley, Monet, Matisse, Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Reynolds and Picasso...I somehow missed the da Vinci.

I had a brilliant time there and I thoroughly recommend it as a place to visit. I would certainly like to go back or maybe further in to see what 'real' Russia is like, considering are Russian friends said it was very European.

It was a whistle stop tour of the city however, as we can only be there for 3 days visa free so it was back on the long ferry trip back to Helsinki and to work.

That work is suddenly piling up. I have just, at this moment, finished my Finnish Literature essay - although I am awaiting some feedback as it undoubtedly needs improvement. I have one more essay to write on Australian literature and its portrayal of Aboriginals, four exams (two of which are next week...on the same day) and two presentations. I will however be finished by the time my friends back in Nottingham have returned from their Easter break, as it is only an extended weekend here in Finland.

Tonight we will see Via Crucis, a promenade performance which culminates in the crucifixion of Christ infront of the Senate Sq. Cathedral. By the looks of photos and experience of Finnish-ness I imagine it will be excellent and quite graphic, what is more who cares if it is in Finnish as I know the story well enough to narrate it to myself - perfect!

Mum and Dad are in the midst of planning their trip over at the beginning of May, I must admit that I got quite excited when telling Mum what we could go and see. I'm also excited to show Dad the liquorice chocolate which is the best chocolate I have ever tasted, much to everyone else's amusement and confusion. It is a saddening thought that they will be coming though as it marks the last part of my time here in Helsinki. When Mum leaves on the 9th I will have only 10 days left in this city which I have already grown to love; I guess it is bittersweet however as it also signals the start of my interrailing home. My procrastination yesterday involved working out a plan and so I plan to visit: Sweden, Denmark, Czech Republic, Poland, Austria, Slovenia and Italy with a hope to be back in England for a World Cup game or two and possibly a cheeky night out at Crisis.

There will probably be one more update, a final update, before my laptop is passed over to my mother to take home but until then I'll leave you with photos of St. Petersburg and love to all you guys reading who I miss ever so!

St. Isaac's, Patron Saint of Peter the Great

Inside the Cathedral on Spilt Blood (best name ever) which is all mosaic

The beautiful exterior of the Cathedral on Spilt Blood

As with any city, especially those with waterways, it looks so much better when sunny!

I have no idea what this is but damn look at it!

The Hermitage, opposite the above 'damn look at it' structure.

Belonging

I feel like I belong no-where,
Everywhere too.
Wherever I venture I can call my own.
Home then is living in the world, I swear. 

I Cannot See Through The Glass

My room has no walls,
Only those that confine me.
My room has no windows,
Not even ones that let me see.

This room is an empty shell.
Never a house but not a home.
Flat; pulse, home or both?
Tranquil hell. So much space.

Haiku 2

Coffee at my place.
No view through condensation.
No view anyway.