The Edited Editions: Coffee Sonnet 7

It's been some time again since I posted and this is in part due to my laptop breaking. So this time around I have two sonnets to post.

These proved tricky to adapt to the way I enjoy poetry now and you may think the originals flow a bit better.

7

It is in this place that I often sit,
Longing for many things, hopeless really.
The dreams confined to a bottomless pit,
Though no darkness, with light shining clearly.

Ambiguous abstracts of solar flares
That blaze from the cut glass that drinks are poured,
Off metal machines and the locks of hair
But how heavy are the chains they secure?

I can leave this metropolitan jail,
As the work of my imagination,
Created for the purpose of a tale,
My inward self an inky pollution.

Be warned, that to be alone with your thoughts
Is not safe or warm but where danger courts.

The Edit

There were 3 quite important things that I wanted to keep from the original (below): "ambiguity, abstracts of the sun", we are always attracted to light and when it shines through, and on, so many different surfaces the sun can show all the colours of the spectrum - I thought that was quite beautiful; "locks that fall, how may I see you clearly? And how heavy are the chains they secure", this is important because of the subject, with reference to Goldilocks and shackles showing a dramatised representation of that person; "never leave yourself alone with your thoughts. Safe and warm, these lines show where danger courts", in the original this really becomes the volta which I tried to address in the edit by making you aware that the previous stanzas are highly affected by the very act of me being alone and allowing myself to think about stuff - that bottomless pit.
An important addition, which is linked to that solitary thought, is the line "created for the purpose of a tale". This is because I can often find myself creating stories from the thoughts I have about the real world, not necessarily fantastical but stories that are  possibilities - what if this...? So this line fits in well with both the bottomless pit of the first stanza and Goldilocks in the second but also the ending, having a courtship with danger as your thoughts can become an unknown space.

The original

It is here I decided to have fun,
If that is what you'd call it over there.
I long for many things, hopeless really,
They are all so far from me and so close.

Ambiguity, abstracts of the sun,
How will I be judged? Skin and mind so fair?
Locks that fall, how may I see you clearly?
Or are they in chains? I fear, I suppose.

Hopes and dreams surround my cafe latte,
How metropolitan of me I know.
My inner workings, they can hurt me, so,
Run to my friends or sanity shall pay.

Never leave yourself alone with your thoughts,
Safe and warm, these lines show where danger courts.