It is.
And apparently already has…on numerous occasions.
The second coming of Christ (this has been thought about a few times), nuclear war, large hadron collider, the end of the Mayan calendar and global warming. All of these – and many more – have been theories of how and when the world will end. Most of them, as you will know…considering you are reading this, have been absolute nonsense. Yet we are still fixated with predicting when we are going to fall into eternal doom and blackness because the world is going to implode because of some stupid reason or another.
I may make my own: that an ancient script depicted that a chicken inherited the powers of God because He had got high and thought that the human race was boring. The chicken then sneezed and blew the earth into smithereens. I think that has a good factual basis compared to most theories. In fact I may sell that to ‘The Sun’, I’m sure they’d love it; creating a really imaginative headline like: ‘Chicken to wipe out human race.’
Anyway, let’s have a look at these theories. Starting with Jesus, supposed to be a nice guy- right? Wrong. He has, apparently, ended the world 5 times (at least). Those dudes upstairs must really hate mankind; luckily their attempts have been as good as trying to get Gordon Brown to give our troops working helicopters…
I wonder how the people who came up with these ideas felt about their religion afterwards. “DAMN YOU GOD! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL US ALL YESTERDAY! YOU LIED!” followed with “Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you, please forgive me!”
One main problem with predicting the end of the world by The Rapture is that the amount of ridicule it would get is huge. Estimates are between 2-3 billion Christians world wide. So that leaves 4 billion at least of other religion or none at all and all the Christians who also think that what is being said is stupidity. Yet these crazy believers keep popping up thinking the world is going to end. I’ll feel sorry for anyone who ridicules the crazy guy who gets it right.
1665: The plague, again. This led into 1666 which people believed was the beginning of the end. For two reasons mainly: The great fire of London and because it was the year 1000 and 666 (he number of the beast) combined.
1000AD had already been a year that the end of the world had been predicted. Just because it was a magic number and also because the outbreak of heresies in France, Italy and the south west Med made some French guy think that Satan was going to unleash hell. So with this in mind, having the magic number 1000 plus the number of the beast, 1666 obviously had to be the end of the world. The great fire of London believed to be a mere insight to what Hell would entail.
In more recent times the Large Hadron Collider was put under scrutiny for the theory, from a scientist in Hawaii, that when they succeeded in creating the big bang a great big sucking black hole would eat up the world. This lead to people on the 9th of September 2008 going round saying: ‘Hey good looking. The world is going to end tomorrow…let’s have sex’. I don’t know how well it worked; I’m thinking not so well.
Like past predictions this one failed but not as badly as others. As in fact something did end…the use of the Collider- for a year- because it broke; even with its $9,000,000,000 budget.
So alas the world had still not come to an end. So it was time for a new theory to be developed and a lot of people to go get checked for STIs!
So now the most recent theory for our untimely demise is 2012. The end of the Mayan calendar. There are many thoughts surrounding this, with people believing that the worsening atmospheric state and economic decline are pre-cursors leading up to this apocalypse. An idea that a polar shift may take place, which entails north becoming south and vice versa, which apparently, is a very bad thing. Or a meteor crashing into the earth, weakening of the earth’s magnetic field or mans greed and corruption causing world war 3 which would of course be a nuclear one so no one actually had to do any fighting being the catalyst for our end.
However, I have another theory for this one. 2012 is also the date London hosts the Olympics. The government has been harassed over how we are going to create a mockery of this prestigious event and that we will never finish the construction in time and even if we do, we obviously won’t be able to compete with Beijing’s opening and closing ceremonies. And the athletes won’t be able to compete because Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps will be present. So I propose that the Olympic Committee have decided to blow the world up: so that no one else can complain, so that London can have the glory of being the last place to hold the Olympics and finally…
Because it would be the best fireworks display EVER.
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